Remember that investigator on date?
Well he's made a 180 and is into vaporing (electric cigars). How do people just flipflop like that? Actually a lot of the people who we were working with last transfer have fallen through. It's really sad, and I mean really sad. Hard to watch investigators who have so much potential just deny the greatest thing in the universe. It makes me feel sad, a little discouraged, and really makes me question like that olive vineyard guy, who said, "What more could I have done more in my vineyard?". What could I have done more to keep investigators progressing and committed?
I'm so self critical, you and my companions know that, but after following the spirit, the scriptures, PMG, the wisdom of President Wolfert, and now soon President Bennion I've criticized myself enough. I'm actually doing everything that I can. I don't see that at times though. But things fall through, and in the end all we can do is invite, and in the end it's all part of the growing experience. Lately I've come to really see how crucial agency is, and how honoring the agency of others is really part of the key to conversion. I could use force haha and make our investigators listen to what we have to say, but that's satanic... haha and as real it may seem as one of my many daydreams, it is wrong. What matters is using the love of God, like that 4th missionary, like the greatest missionaries in the blue book, and like Jesus Christ. Allowing that spirit to be the one in control, and controlling that natural man and eventually letting Gods will be, not mine.
So we're still working, we are still waiting, and I am still going to smile. That's what Elder Roberts has taught me, to keep smiling. Keeping the momentum moving, keeping the faith, keeping the hope. Trying to be the best example, and trying to still be myself. It's the struggle, and the thrill of growing up I guess.
Not all things are bad tho, we are now working with some awesome people, and we are still finding tons of interesting characters in the south. Now if anyone knows how to give good constructive criticism, I could use some tips for myself and for my trainee, and for the district as well as other people we teach. That would be much appreciated!
Love you guys so much, Happy Fourth of July Weekend! Light a firework in my behalf, eat some corn, live it up! And we should be enjoying a fine Southern BBQ...
Godspeed this week,
Lots of love,
Elder Black :)