In this weeks events of the mission, I've learned that trying to do your very best can sometimes turn into trying to be what prophets and leaders in the church call "perfectionism"; trying to do everything perfectly in an unrealistic manner right now. Thank goodness for Ensigns! Yes, it is required that we be diligent, obedient (exactly is the degree we want), and faithful in every sense, but I've come to find recently and am reminded and humbled to say that it is through Christ that we do all these things.
For myself, and I think many other missionaries, we come to the mission with a myriad of accomplishments and recognition that we have received throughout our lives. Rewards and achievement that come from the sports we played, the education we were given, the talents we have, careers we made or started, and even the name of our family can be a reason why we fall into a perfectionists vision. "I've always been able to do so many good things in life, why I'm I struggling with getting a baptism? A LIMP? or finding new people to teach?" The vision of seeing what we want accomplished is not the vision of what our Father in Heaven knows what we need accomplished.
So seeing appointments fall through, struggling with team ups, or losing investigators can all become very frustrating and discouraging. Add missing home and the way things used to be so that at times it can seem even more of a downer (right now is actually the downer, it's pouring rain). But who made man's mouth? Who made the deaf, the seeing or the blind? The way things work in this life is not for us, but for God. And though we feel like we may always fall short of His glory, the gospel lays out a plan and a way where we can't fail. Elder Gerrit W. Gong has said that in Greek, the word "Perfect" can be translated as “complete, finished, fully developed”. Christ doesn't ask us to be perfect NOW, but he asks us to fully accept His Atonement which will increase us, make us, and build us to be like Him. It is through his Grace that we are made complete.
Understand him. That's what a struggle can be, not only for our investigators, but ourselves as well. Understanding comes over time though, and thankfully God has given us this life to do so. Perfectionism comes, I blame my OCD side (LOL), I think a lot that the work either has to be done this way or else it's totally wrong and I'm a bad missionary. I've come to see that I won't ever be perfect in this life, not even if I did everything with exactness. But after understanding day by day what Grace really is and how when we accept it, heaven is ours.
This week was grande, our companionship is so unified i love it. The humidity and heat really gets to ya and so I'm working on eating and drinking more water. Training is growing all of us. I'm seeing my teaching skills increase. And I'm seeing lots of good stuff happen-miracles if you will. Now we (You the reader, me the missionary) wait and keep enduring together, and with God of course and everything will work out in the end. This I know to be true.
Y'all have a classy week, go eat a corn dog for me :)
#summerlovin #GANMlife #kidsdreamin